An Open Letter to the Overstimulated Mama

Life is crazy isn't it? The house is a mess, the laundry isn't done, and the kids are screaming in the background for no apparent reason. You feel like you're going crazy...but you're not. You're just overstimulated; and that's normal. 

No matter what other people say or do, you are allowed to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated. I don't care if you're a working mom, a single mom, or a stay at home mom. You're feelings are 100% valid and 100% real. There is no reason to ever feel like it's wrong to be human. Yes, you are a working mom; yes, to you're kids you are superwoman, but you are still human. And that's totally ok.

It's ok to get frustrated. It's normal to feel guilty. It's alright to cry; and, sometimes, you may even laugh until you cry. Some days, you might even feel like doing all four; and trust me, your husband will definitely try to tell you to calm down or that you are overreacting. Maybe he's right, maybe he's not. Either way you are still amazing. Wanna know why? I'll tell you.

Remember that family vacation you went on that you and your family planned for weeks, maybe even months. You spent days planning, budgeting, and packing. You were the first one to pack, but the last one out the door. 

What about the countless nights you spent hours in the kitchen preparing meals for everyone? You made sure the dinner was prepped, the dishes were clean, the table was set, and everyone was fed before you even sat down. You were the last to eat. 

Or when everyone in your household was sick and you mustered up the energy to get out of bed and clean the house---or go to work----and took care of everyone else. After reading them bedtime stories, giving them medicine, or getting them once last cup of water you finally got your chance to relax. You were the first one up, and the last one to shower and go to bed. 

For your kids, you sacrifice everything, your wants...your needs...your time...and your self-care. It doesn't stop once their needs are met, because then you have to clean the house, get work done, finish the laundry, cook dinner, and...you can't forget about your partner. So what's left at the end of the day? By the time you finally get a chance to sit down, you're already thinking of what needs to be done the next day. The kids need to get to school and practice on time. You have bills you need to pay and groceries to buy. You can't miss that your kids' PTO meeting because you were gone last time. You can't take one more "mom, please...", you don't want anyone clinging to your leg, you don't want hugs, and you don't care to socialize anymore, but then your spouse comes home. They begin to tell you about their day and unload their stress from work. You don't want to be rude and dismiss their problems,  but you don't have the mental or emotional capacity to handle anymore. So you breakdown....you finally lose it. 

And, when you finally let it all out, you begin to cry because your overwhelming mom-guilt comes marching in and tells you that moms aren't supposed to be ungrateful. Moms aren't supposed to feel unhappy or depressed because they have the greatest gift (children) on Earth and they knew exactly what they were signing up for when they became pregnant. So what do you do?

Well, I wish I could tell you that I had all the answers, but I don't.  What I DO know is that being a mom comes with many different challenges---mentally and emotionally. Somedays, we just have to dust ourselves off and keep pushing forward. Why? Because those tiny humans need us. They rely on us to teach them right from wrong. They rely on us to show them how to be a good person, and nurture lifelong friendships/relationships. They rely on us to protect them....either from the real world or the "monsters" in their closet at night. 

Along with these challenges comes great reward though. Whenever I'm having a rough day, I just remind myself that I am the last person she sees when I tuck her in for bed at night and I get to be the first face she sees in the morning. I'm the first person she runs to when she wants to play or when she needs saving. Why? Because I'm her mom. I'm her safespace. And that's all I need to remind myself of the purpose I serve. So, the next time you are the last to get in the car, the last to eat, the last sleep, etc. just remember that you are the first to be remembered by them every day. After all, you are not just a maid. You are not a placeholder. YOU ARE A MOM. And, although it is a very difficult job and overwhelming, it is the most important title to your repertoire. So, go ahead and cry a little, have a small breakdown, scream into your pillow...do whatever you need to get by; but, after you do it, dust yourself off and be the bad*** Mom you were made to be. I see you and I believe in you.

- The Overstimulated Mama