Body Image After a Baby: The Struggle is Real

Weight loss...weight gain...stretch marks...loose skin...and scars. These physical traits are not given but earned. Why, you ask? Because they tell the story of your pregnancy and labor. Although, these changes are hard to accept (trust me, I know because I'm in the same boat) they are not always a bad thing. Although your physical appearance has changed, it's not the only contributing factor to your perception. It's your expectations of body image that are distorting your point of view.

Let's be honest, when you're expecting, you hear all these stories about these "glowing" mamas around you; but, when you look in the mirror you ask yourself, "why isn't that me?" In my own personal experience, nausea, bathroom breaks, and constant cravings were not exactly what you would call "glowing". I didn't wear makeup, my skin was breaking out due to a milk sensitivity that my growing child had, and I never wore those cute maternity dresses. To be completely honest, most days I was lucky if I put on pants. 

I guess I knew that I would put on weight during my pregnancy, but I didn't expect to absolutely hate my body during that time. And yes, I said the word hate, I still loved my baby just not my image of myself. I went from working two jobs and exercising five days a week to working one job and light exercise 4 days a week. Yet, I felt more exhausted than I ever had before. My morning sickness was very rough which led me to make some not-so-healthy food choices; I just ate whatever I could without getting sick. I gained thirty pounds during my pregnancy. 

I know what some of you are thinking there are people that gain more than that during pregnancy. However, it wasn't the weight gain that I wasn't prepared for. Everyone warned me about that. In fact, I actually dropped those thirty pounds in the first week post-partum; but no one ever warned me about being disciplined enough to keep that weight off. 

I went from making time to exercise to making time to nap. Understandably so! Most moms are lucky if we can squeeze a nap in while the baby naps. My first night home, I got a full thirty minutes---and I even had a tremendous support system that would come over and help so I could get some sleep. 

Eventually my self-care took a backseat to baby's needs (as they should in most cases). I stopped doing the things I loved because I just wanted alone time to rest. Cue the weight gain. With lack of sleep you also develop a lack of identity. You lose yourself while becoming a mom---and that's ok! You just need to find yourself first. For me, I had to navigate my mental health first---which lead me to identifying one form of stress relief and that was exercising. 

After my post-partum checkup, I was cleared to get back to doing light exercise like walking and stretching. For what seemed like the longest time, I was envious of Riley because when we'd go to the gym together, he got to life heavy weights and continue to develop and grow. And me----I had to start over. 

Prior to having our beautiful daughter, I lost twenty pounds and was finally confident enough to wear crop tops and cute shorts. Now, I was back to square one. Only, I didn't really know where to start. I couldn't get past the mental block of running after 9 months of walking. And I was really discouraged when I tried to do sit ups only to find out that my core muscles were so weak and stretched out that I couldn't even do one. It was a gut punch for me to see all the hard work disappear from before. 

This doesn't mean I was not proud to be a mother. It's the best job title in the world, but there are some roadblocks along the way. I decided to take that gut punch and hit back by taking my anxiety medication consistently and being patient. Why? Because I want to set a good example for my baby. I want to show her that you can be body-positive while still working on yourself mentally and physically. I want her to know that the number on the scale is just a number, but can also be used as a motivator. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin; and the best way to do that is to carry yourself with confidence. A rut is a rut; eventually you will find a way out. 

So, how did I get out of my rut? Through consistency, discipline, hardwork, and grace. Yep, aside from finding a balance of time and attention, we must also find balance between tough self-love and grace. Through consistency, I have improved my mental and physical health through exercising four to five days a week. I'll be honest, I'm still trying to navigate the discipline aspect. Some days I'm great at it and others I struggle. 

Hardwork, well that's usually self-explanatory. And grace....give yourself some grace. Your body just created a precious life that you couldn't imagine your life without. That tiny human looks up to you and is your purpose in life. They don't care about the number on the scale. Most only care about exploring, learning, and snuggling; and, if they're like Stormee, snacks. 

In all seriousness, set the example. Show them weight is just a number, loose weight is normal, stretch marks and scars represent strength. We weren't built to be Victoria's Secret models. We were built to be moms which is not a lifestyle for everyone. All in all, just remember that body image doesn't define you and it's not a dictator. You can conquer the self-deprecating thoughts. After all, you are stronger than a mother. 

-Sincerely,

The Strong Mama