An Open Letter to My College Best Friend

Truth be told, I miss you.... A LOT. I miss the study dates that turned into therapy sessions, the movie nights that turned into dance parties in the kitchen, and the evening out that turned into memories. We had so many good times together----and some trying times too. But those ups and downs nourished our friendship and made us stronger. I understand that life pulled us in different directions. You started your career and I started my family; and there's nothing wrong with that. But the ugly truth is, no matter how hard we try, we just can't do it all. 

You see, it's hard to find the 'perfect' balance in life; between work, raising kids, moving, and trying to squeeze in the much-needed self-care to maintain our sanity, it seems almost impossible to get together like we used to. It's no one's fault. As we grow older our priorities change. Going out is not a priority of mine, but maintaining our friendship is.

We've been through a lot together, but we never left each other (even though physical distance holds its presence). And for that I thank you. You loved me at my lowest and cheered me on at my highest. You endured my previous relationships that were not so healthy and served as my shoulder to cry on when I needed to. When a boy made me cry, you were the first to tell me that I deserved better. You even went on a scavenger hunt for my car keys on a cold night that resulted in me climbing a balcony to get them back. Even through all of that you let me be me and figure things out on my own without a fear of judgment. 

I could go on and on forever about all the memories we had, the mistakes we made, and the lessons we learned; but I'll save that for a later date. Believe me, we have our fair share of stories to tell at each other's weddings someday. Instead, I'd like to share a few of the reasons why you are truly the best of the best. 

1. YOU ARE ALWAYS SO PATIENT WITH ME

It takes a hefty amount of patience to put up with me. I'm loud and outspoken but also sensitive and a people pleaser. To paint a picture, I'm like a ticking timebomb and you're like the person who diffuses me. Just when I think I'm about to blow up at someone or burst out in tears, you keep me level-headed. You validate me without sugar-coating things. Your blunt and honest when you need to be yet supportive and caring. I guess maybe your profession is a contributing factor. You've always been one to help others before yourself and that's something I will always admire about you. 

2. YOU DON'T TAKE OFFENSE TO MY ABSENCE

In addition to your patience, you aren't easily offended by my absence. Before I had Stormee, you understood that I wasn't being flakey. In fact, more times than not, you made it known that your door is always open if I ever changed my mind. And, even though you don't have any children yet, you understand that her needs come before my wants. Yes, there are times I wish I could leave my responsibilities behind and go out for a night, but you also understand that I have a sweet girl at home that needs mama to hold her tight and tuck her in at night. Which leads me to my next point.

3. YOU STILL INVITE ME

Even though my presence isn't always a guarantee, you still invite me anyways. I can't even begin to tell you how important that is to a first-time, stay-at-home mom. In fact, I wish more moms had a friend like you for that sole purpose. On my tough days, it makes me feel better knowing someone else thought of me and cared about how I was doing that day. Thank you for that.

4. YOU ARE ACCEPTING OF MY DAUGHTER

This....this may be the one point that tops all the rest. I'll be honest, becoming a mom taught me who my true friends are. And you are one of them. A lot of times, people say they will be there. They tell you how excited they are to meet your baby while you're pregnant, but when the baby actually arrives, they don't make an effort to show up sadly. Some quit hanging out with moms the minute they can't go out and drink; and some even say "just get a babysitter" as if that's the easiest thing in the world to do. But not you, you were there at my baby shower. You were there to visit my daughter after she was born. You checked in on me consistently. You tell me to bring my daughter with and tailor our plans to ensure that they are kid friendly. And most importantly, you accept Stormee for the quirky, sweet, and spunky girl that she is. Because of you, she will know to accept others for their kind heart. 

5. YOU ARE YOU

And last, but simply not least, you are you. I have yet to meet someone with your passion for teaching others how to be great human beings. You are all-inclusive and so welcoming to anyone within your reach. You take pride in what you do and have faith in those who need someone to believe in them. Stormee is so lucky to have you as her godmother and your students are lucky to have you as their teacher. Thank you for showing me what it means to love others, accept their differences, and to forgive unconditionally. You are a true light in this world. Thank you for being you.

Sincerely,

Your sister from another mister